Hipster jeans, mini skirts and anything which reveals too much flesh or – horrors – a midriff is frowned upon. There’s no room for casual attire either so jogging bottoms and a pair of flip-flops for a trip to the supermarket are a no-no. 2 BEWARE OF OTHER WOMEN Where the fairer sex is concerned it’s best to be on your guard.
3 BAN THE BOOZE Wine o’clock doesn’t exist in France.
Neither do the bucket-sized glasses that appear to have become the norm in British bars and restaurants.
Evidence of the requisite passion in a relationship is everywhere in France: on television, in the papers, even children declare their undying love to each other in the playground.
My stepson received his first heartfelt love letter aged eight.
Indeed in every village square, outside almost each bar and café is a well-maintained bowl of doggie water.